Seoul Garden dinner was great , but abit sad , one of them left when I came , but nevermind , really had a great time yesterday (x Thank you everyone ,

Now , for the bad , came back home with a good mood and when I saw my blog views bomb , angry , ._. but who cares luh , ~

Was wanting to take a nap , but decided not to , and ended up finishing all my work , don’t want to drag it to tomorrow because got Dinner @ Seoul Garden , hah! And I am so happy … At least I know my parents they really love me , not that I deny it from the past , but I just love my parents more and more each day , like yesterday , my house gas stove almost bomb because of me , my parents didn’t blame me , but protected me instead because I insist to stay in the kitchen , (x and my parents they always think for me and my sister before themselves , which is so heart-warming , I just love them so much , my sister too , she is starting to open up again , I am just glad everything is back to normal , clap clap for me , whee , at least my parents are concern about me ~ so happy , and despite the fact MAMA was tired , she still accompany me to shop , tears drop , my parents are really wonderful , although they fight , but they are still the best , and I am glad that they are my parents , (x

HELLO ! I NEVER ASK YOU TO LOVE ME OKAY , AT LEAST I KNOW WHEN TO USE THE CORRECT TENSE AT THE CORRECT TIMES , THIS IS ME , WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ? LIKE I SAID , THIS IS ME , I DID NOT USE THOSE WORDS BECAUSE OF THE WORD:”LEADER” PLEASE DON’T ASK ME LEAD BY EXAMPLE , BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT TOO YOU COMPLACENT PIECE OF NOBODY , TRY TO BE COMPLACENT YOU WILL FALL VERY VERY BADLY (: NOT LYING TO YOU , JUST THAT I DON’T SAY ,DOESN’T MEAN I WILL KEEP QUIET , AND DON’T USE LANGUAGE AGAINST ME , (:

Communion today was a success !!!!:D so happy , nothing fell and I think I am recognized by the usher who saw me yesterday :X But who cares, I enjoy my life as it is now , although I won’t be seeing them next week:( So many things are going on , and to really tell some of you , if I am not replying your sms , or did  not let you know my second number , it would meant that I no longer trust you , sorry , but I think I need some time to think and make my decision , because there are just too many hurts that I got , I think for now I will be a rose, and be defensive , sorry , and if I am going to leave , I will leave with no regrets , I don’t care about this dream anymore , since it has taken place , I shall not give a shit / crap anymore , whatever comes out of my mind , it would be my decision , and nobody CAN decide for me , I don’t mind if I am going to lose my faith , I have lost it anyway , so no point having to try to find back that passion I had , I will blame no one if I am going to backslide , if it is fate , if this is the process I have to face again before climbing back , I will take this step , each and one of you contributed to what I am today , and stop your fucking accuse that I am staring at you , so what you are sharp ? doesn’t mean I face you , means I stare at you , to honestly say 8o% of the time I am not staring at you , sometimes I feel like going to your face and give you one big fucking slap , ! Starting from today , I will be two faced , or maybe more , depending on the situation , I am used to being a two faced , it is like my daily routine already , through all this I have really learn that I am of no use , I am just a pawn for some people to realize their calling and dreams , I am just a freaking pawn , and those who disagree shut up, you are not in my shoes you won’t know what I am going through , I know everyones has their own problems , so you mind yours and i will mind my (:  Those who think you can try to pull me back , you can try but you will fail , I am just a empty vessel now , and I intend to go with the flow with my faith walk , no feelings left , no passion , unstable you call it , whatever you want , I am unlike some people who neglects their studies for their desires , (x  To me , I will just live my life this way , don’t use God against me , I WILL HATE  YOU  , it is time I take a long break from cgms , going to just concentrate on studies and ministry ,  like I posted in my previous post , ministry gives me a greater joy than a spiritual family , so this is what I have come up with , try to question/talk to me , trust me it will be ignored , I will not be soft hearted anymore , no point being nice , it will just be ignored in the end , even if the highest of the highest talk to me , it will be fruitless , I will live as what I am now , don’t expect to see me around because it is impossible , (:

Can’t wait for Seoul Garden dinner with Sinnee and the others!:), then reunion dinner , Friday service , drinking session , so many things going on , wah x.x  Off to serve for both services on Friday , don’t feel like attending fellowship , so yeah , And my ic cheat my feeling  , my name in database but cannot scan . but it is okay . I will be able to sign in , hopefully (:

Went all the way to town and saw UM people !!!!! haha (: AND YES I WENT SHOPPING TODAY And a good news  : I THEREBY OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE I HAVE LOST WEIGHT! (: and my name is in the database (Y):D